If you're subscribed to my newsletter, you already know that earlier this year, I embarked upon a deep, whole-Bible study based on Proverbs 31:10-31—and all my preconceived notions concerning it were shattered. There's so much meat in this passage that we're too lazy or disgusted to chew through the fat to get to, and there's so much about it that's been misrepresented or misunderstood in recent years. If you pick up an old commentary (like Matthew Henry's, John Gill's, or Matthew Poole's), you'll see how they sought and brought out something deeper than we first see from these 22 verses.
I highly recommend digging into the passage yourself, without all the ideas and interpretations you've heard before. (And if you'd like to try the reading plan I used, I'd be glad to share it!) Until then, here are my top four (three and a half, really) takeaways from the poem of the Proverbs 31 woman.
it’s not just a snapshot
More often than not, we take Proverbs 31:10-31 out of context. We separate it from the rest of Proverbs, maybe because it’s from King Lemuel’s mother (whoever they both are) or it’s about a woman (that’s not adulterous) or it’s an acrostic poem instead of a series of short, seemingly random sayings.
Basically, this chapter is too put together and too different to fit in with teachings on drunkenness and kings and sluggards and ants. Thus, it must be set aside and dissected as its own, standalone thing, right?
Wrong.
Proverbs 31 isn’t just a snapshot. It’s not just tacked on at the end because there wasn’t anywhere else to put it.
If anything, it’s a summary of everything already laid out in Proverbs.
The whole of the book is on Wisdom. What it is, how to obtain it, the benefits of it, the difference between Wisdom and Folly, the fruits of Wisdom, etc. Just like the adulterous woman represents Folly, the Proverbs 31 woman represents Wisdom. She’s the culmination of all the qualities and benefits and fruits of Wisdom. Not only does she portray how Wisdom manifests itself in a woman (whereas the rest of Proverbs is directed toward men, leaders, etc.), she’s also an example of the kind of woman that a wise man should seek to marry.
Every proverb for the woman hearkens back to a proverb for the man (or general reader) found in the preceding chapters. These 22 verses fit like a puzzle piece into the rest of the book (or fit like Eve into Adam).
it’s not the criteria for a godly woman
I heard that gasp of utter shock. How can this passage, the most renowned and lauded authority on Biblical womanhood, not be about Biblical womanhood??
That’s not what I said.
I said it’s not the criteria (i.e., the requirements) to be a godly woman. By that, I mean we as woman are not expected to immediately embody all these qualities upon receiving Christ.
This passage focuses on the end result of years of sanctification and the work of Wisdom. It runs the whole range of excellence and virtue. It’s an ideal.
Can we, through Christ alone, attain this high standard of godly and excellent womanhood? Absolutely. But will it happen overnight? Will it happen in our own strength? Will it happen if our eyes are set on anything other than Jesus? Will it happen to every woman who says the sinner’s prayer?
No.
This is something to strive toward, to let God mold us into—not something to judge ourselves by.
it goes deeper than linen & girdles (or tote bags)
Like many of the Bible’s most controversial or misunderstood passages, Proverbs 31 actually speaks to something more than we can see on the surface. The Proverbs 31 woman’s lauded excellence is not derived from the things she does (e.g., buying fields, feeding her family, getting up before the crack of dawn). There are a great many women who do these things and would never be mentioned in the same sentence as “excellent.” Rather, these actions symbolize her deeper spiritual qualities and are an outpouring of her inner excellence.
As great as linen and girdles (sashes in the ESV, see verse 24) are, they’re not what make this woman so excellent and wise. It’s not the fact that she sews and spins and plants that contributes to her value.
It’s because she’s skillful and humble and willing to work. It’s because she sacrifices of herself for her family and those in need. It’s because she puts effort into cultivating goodness and strives for excellence in whatever she does. It’s because she stewards her time and resources for God. It’s because she’s devoted to Him and finds her value in Him, not herself or what she does.
We can 100% do the same things a woman in the ancient times would do (e.g., sew our own clothes, bake sourdough, carry clay jugs of water on our heads, etc.), but we don’t have to for us to still embody the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman. We can live modern lives and do whatever it is that God has called us to while being self-sacrificing, hardworking, courageous, and kind. For example, maybe you make music instead of clothes or you live in a brownstone instead of on acres of land for planting a vineyard. Maybe you’re single or childless for a season. Maybe you don’t have a family business on which your survival depends, but you have a 9-5 on which your rent and electricity depends.
That doesn’t count you out of being a Proverbs 31 woman.
You don’t have to join a pyramid scheme or become a content creator to create and teach and give. God’s already put you in the place where He can use you and given you the talents and skills He wants you to have. All you have to do is surrender. Let Him mold you and shape you. Ask Him for wisdom and He will give it to you (James 1:5).
And then just be faithful in the little. One day, you may look back and see that God’s led you through it all into a Proverbs 31 life of godliness. Or you may look back and see that He was faithful to you and kept leading you back to Him, even when you weren’t living such a life.
Either way, what matters is not waking up one morning the picture of the perfect woman. It’s waking up every morning, resolved to be the woman God called you to be.
it’s not in our own strength
If you take anything out of this post, or Proverbs 31 itself, let it be this: excellence is not attained in our own strength but by God’s power alone. The woman is not excellent because she’s inherently virtuous or does all these excellent things; she’s excellent because God is excellent through her.
Don’t run yourself ragged trying to meet this basically impossible ideal. Just focus on God and He’ll work the rest out.
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 ESV
So beautiful! May we all trust the Lord to shape us into a Proverbs 31 woman.